The REAL big man

So you thought you were going to see a matchup of big men unparalled since the 80s? You got what I wanted. And that is another reminder of who the real big man is. Holding that whistle in my mouth means I decide who and what people will watch. Not the suits and not the ballers. Never forget that. Block or charge? Moving screen or incidental contact? You think that's a tough call for me? Seriously, I've seen it a million times. I know what's going on. Hope you enjoyed the real show Saturday night. I've been big time in this game for much longer and will be long after these battleships pass in the night. If you're disappointed you need to reconsider the work of a master. When you can decide how a game will be played and by whom and still not decide who wins the game, let me know. Seven footers are a dime a dozen compared to stripes who can do what I do. Don't forget that. Learn to appreciate true brilliance when you see it.

Hess is an assassin

I heard that whistle blow last night. You looked at the TV and went by what you saw instead of what really happened. Not a correctable error, my friend. I laugh. People like me have Tivo. We can rewind that shit immediately. Watch it like it was live in high def, slomo, whatever. We have surround speakers. You should just have us call in 1-866-IDOLS-01 for 1 second -02 for two seconds, -03 for 3 seconds, and -04 for Sanjay because you we need to see his bouncy sis next week. It would take less time than you hunched over a 6" monitor with stupid who knows he blew the whistle but is acting like Chris Webber calling timeouts he doesn't have. How many times do I have to tell you stop hanging around Lopes, Cahill, and Kitts?

Don't look at me like that

Who do you think you are? I see you sneering at me. Better keep your mouth shut. You don't like what I just did, do you? I run this mutha, just so you know that and if you keep it up I'm gonna run you too. I've made men tougher than you throw chairs. That's right, bitch. I got you now. So just sit down and keep it quiet. Take it like a man because my woman pissed me off last night and someone's gonna pay. I got something I got to get out one way or another. I got all night too. I'm in no hurry to get home. Stick around, its more fun for me to have you here. Then I get to see your little tantrums and faces. That goes for your wife sitting behind the bench, too. When I turn off the lights at night and its quiet in my hotel room, I think about that shit. And I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh some more until I fall asleep.